I Never Wanted to Be a Salesman

Somewhere along the way, I became a Realtor. But that was never really the plan.

I never wanted to be a salesman.

Which is a slightly inconvenient admission for someone who makes his living in real estate.

I don’t own a Rolex. I wear Vans almost every day. My wardrobe consists largely of jeans and flannel, and I’ve been known to spend an unreasonable amount of time and money filling a colleague’s office with balloons.

I’m probably not what comes to mind when someone pictures a successful real estate broker.

Good.

Because somewhere along the way, I think we confused looking successful with actually being good at what we do.

And I’ve never been particularly interested in looking the part.

I Had Other Plans

For years, I had friends encouraging me to get my real estate license.

One friend’s wife was in the business, and they were convinced I’d be good at it.

I always had an excuse.

Maybe when I got burned out. Maybe when I needed a change. Maybe someday.

The truth is, I didn’t particularly want to sell houses.

I’d spent my career working in jobs where helping people was part of the responsibility. I understood hard work, long hours, and being there when someone needed you.

What I didn’t fully appreciate was how much of my own life was happening while I was busy working.

Then my daughter got sick.

I spent a week at home with her, away from the usual demands of work. And somewhere during that week, with enough time to decompress and actually think, something clicked.

I didn’t want to go back.

Not because I didn’t want to work.

Because I was missing too much.

The little moments. The milestones. The ordinary afternoons that don’t seem particularly important until you realize you don’t get them back.

That Sunday night, I told my wife I didn’t want to return to my job.

She looked at me and said:

“Then resign and go get your fucking real estate license.”

Well, alright then.

Sometimes You Figure It Out as You Go

Did I have a business plan?

Not really.

Did I know exactly how I was going to build a real estate career?

Nope.

But in the span of a few seconds, I knew I had my wife’s support, and I knew I was going to do it.

I recently finished reading Authentic, the memoir of Vans founder Paul Van Doren. Looking back on my own career change, I recognized something familiar in his willingness to tackle problems, make decisions, and figure things out along the way.

That approach felt familiar.

You don’t always get to have every answer before you make a decision.

Sometimes you just have to decide what matters, commit to it, and get to work.

So that’s what I did.

Success Looks Different to Everybody

Real estate hasn’t magically eliminated the sacrifices.

There are evenings spent showing houses, weekends that fill up unexpectedly, and phone calls that arrive at spectacularly inconvenient times.

The flexibility everyone talks about in this business is real, but only if you’re willing to establish boundaries.

Otherwise, you’ve simply traded a job with set hours for one where you’re never off the clock.

But here’s what I gained.

I can attend a school assembly.

I can be there for a parent-teacher conference.

I can spend time with my kids during the week, then head out to photograph a listing or meet with clients later that afternoon.

Sometimes one of my kids even comes along for part of the adventure.

My days don’t always fit neatly into a calendar, and that’s fine with me.

Because the reason I made this change wasn’t to escape work.

It was to build a career that allowed me to be present for the life happening around it.

And that brings me to something I’ve never quite understood about this industry.

Why does success have to look a certain way?

The expensive watch. The luxury car. The carefully curated wardrobe. The social media posts that seem designed to convince everyone how successful you are.

Don’t get me wrong. I love cars. Probably more than is financially responsible.

But there’s a difference between buying something because you genuinely love it and buying something because you think successful people are supposed to own it.

I’ve spent enough of my life figuring out who I am.

I’m not particularly interested in pretending to be somebody else just to fit an image.

I Don’t Like Being Sold To, Either

Here’s another confession.

I can’t stand salesmen.

You know the type.

The manufactured enthusiasm. The artificial urgency. The sudden friendship that develops the moment someone thinks there’s a commission involved.

I’ve never liked being on the receiving end of that experience, and I certainly don’t want to be the person creating it for somebody else.

Buying or selling a home is a big decision.

For some people, it’s the biggest financial decision they’ll ever make.

For others, it’s tied to a major life change. A growing family. A new job. Retirement. A relationship ending. A fresh start.

Those situations deserve more than a rehearsed sales pitch.

And the people going through them deserve to be treated like individuals.

Not leads.

Not transactions.

Not another number on somebody’s production report.

My Clients Don’t Need to Fit a Mold, Either

One of the things I’ve enjoyed most about real estate is getting to know people.

And some of my favorite clients have been the ones who felt comfortable enough to simply be themselves.

They don’t have to pretend they understand every part of the process.

They don’t have to apologize for asking questions.

They don’t have to love a house just because I think it checks every box.

And they certainly don’t have to make a decision because I’m ready for them to make one.

My job is to give them the information, explain their options, offer my professional opinion, and help them make decisions that are right for their circumstances.

Sometimes that means having an uncomfortable conversation.

Sometimes it means telling someone a property probably isn’t a good idea.

And sometimes it means spending a considerable amount of time helping someone who ultimately decides not to buy or sell at all.

That’s part of the job.

I’d much rather have someone walk away from a transaction that wasn’t right for them than watch them make a decision they’ll regret.

I don’t believe helping someone and earning a commission should be competing priorities.

Do Right by People. The Business Will Follow.

I’ve always believed that if you do right by your clients, the money will come.

That doesn’t mean every transaction works out.

It doesn’t mean every person you help becomes a client.

And it certainly doesn’t mean running a successful business is easy.

But I believe a reputation built on trust, honesty, and showing up for people is worth more than any carefully manufactured image of success.

When someone finishes working with me, I don’t particularly care whether they remember what shoes I was wearing or what I drove to our appointments.

What I hope they remember is something much simpler.

That I was there.

That I answered the phone.

That I helped them through the difficult parts.

And that I never pressured them into making a decision they weren’t comfortable with.

Because at the end of the day, the business is built on relationships with actual people.

And no two of them are exactly alike.

Still Not Much of a Salesman

I never wanted to be a salesman.

I wanted to help people.

I wanted to be a dad who showed up, a husband who was present, and someone who could build a career without sacrificing everything else that mattered.

Somewhere along the way, I became a Realtor.

I still wear Vans. I still drive the car I love. I still occasionally make questionable decisions involving several thousand balloons.

And I still believe that if you take care of people, the business will follow.

Maybe that’s not how you’re supposed to do real estate.

But it’s how I do it.